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The most expensive limits in your business are the ones you assign to yourself.
Identity feels fixed. In practice, it is usually a story repeated long enough to feel true.
On a recent episode of the Unordinary podcast, Ben Sharf, CEO of Platter, an e-commerce infrastructure company that has built and optimized more than 200 storefronts generating billions in cumulative sales, shared a realization that reframed how he thinks about himself.
“I would always identify myself as a chaotic person,” he said. “But I’m not actually a chaotic person. I just told myself that and started to manifest it becoming real.”
That shift is subtle. It changes how you operate.
Founders carry labels that sound harmless.
“I’m not technical.”
“I’m not a sales guy.”
“I work best in chaos.”
“I’m on the consulting track.”
Each one shapes decisions.
If you believe you are not technical, you avoid product depth.
If you believe you are not a sales person, you avoid revenue conversations.
If you believe you thrive in chaos, you never build systems.
These identities rarely start as strategic choices. They begin as patterns that worked in one environment and then get generalized.
Ben’s early path is a clean example. He grew up in a traditional household where the expected route was clear: strong grades, strong school, consulting or banking, stability. That narrative carried weight. It shaped the initial plan.
Then reality forced a decision point. He had a consulting offer. He also had the opportunity to join a high growth company and skip a step he thought was required.
The identity of “future consultant” was available.
He chose differently.
One of the strongest themes in his story is environment.
At 15, he left home to attend prep school to pursue hockey. The structure forced independence. The peer group raised standards. The daily routine demanded discipline.
Later, a 10 day Vipassana meditation retreat stripped away stimulation entirely. No phone. No conversation. No writing. Just observation.
In that setting, he saw how easily he had boxed himself in.
“I’m not actually a chaotic person,” he said. “I’m a product of the environment that I’m in.”
That insight matters.
Traits that feel permanent often reflect context.
Put a founder in a chaotic market with aggressive timelines and they will move fast.
Put that same founder in a structured environment and different traits surface.
Behavior adjusts to the room.
Labels narrow perceived options.
They reduce experimentation. You stop trying things that conflict with your story.
They justify inconsistency. Missed execution becomes “that’s just how I am.”
They protect comfort. If you are “not wired” for something, you never have to train that skill.
Over time, identity becomes a ceiling.
Ben described the pressure of living up to expectations early in life. “You want to be the perfect child and do everything that everyone else is expecting from you.”
That desire can quietly harden into a script.
Scripts feel safe. They also limit range.
This is not about reinventing yourself.
It is about auditing the stories you repeat.
Start with a simple question: what do I regularly say about myself?
Write it down.
Then examine the evidence.
Is this structural or situational?
Did this trait emerge because of environment, incentives, or repetition?
Next, change the environment.
Join a room where your current identity is irrelevant.
Take on work that forces a different muscle.
Build structure if you believe you thrive in chaos.
Lean into sales if you believe you are not persuasive.
Spend time in silence if you believe you cannot slow down.
Identity shifts when behavior repeats under new conditions.
Your team can feel the story you tell yourself.
If you describe yourself as scattered, the team will normalize scattered execution.
If you describe yourself as not detail-oriented, no one will expect rigor.
Growth requires range.
Early success often reinforces one version of you. That version can carry you through one stage of a company. The next stage may require something different.
Identity is flexible when you treat it as data instead of destiny.
Audit the labels you carry.
Remove the ones that limit range.
Your performance ceiling often sits inside a sentence you repeat without thinking.
If you enjoy these operator-level reflections, subscribe to the Unordinary podcast, where we go deeper into the decisions that shape founders over time.
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